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No one ever taught us how to feel our feelings. We’ve only learned how to seek saving from them. As a little girl, I watched all the Disney movies that had a Prince Charming. He was positioned to save the heroin. Each character either didn’t feel seen, didn't feel free, or didn’t feel good enough, and the Prince was her way out of that emotional prison.
That is what we learned to seek outside of ourselves. This has positioned us to place our emotional responsibility on others, from just a tiny child, and If we didn’t get that from our parents- game over. We have anxious attachment or avoidant attachment adults suffering from co-dependant and narcissistic relationships, when the fact is we are all yearning for the same thing. To feel seen, to feel free, to feel good enough, and that is supposed to make us feel loved.
The problem is that all of that is external validation. This is not real love, nor is it sustainable, nor will it fill the void inside you created by the wounds that made you feel invisible, unworthy, or not good enough. The way to change this deeply embedded programming is through Self-Love. You are the only one who can save yourself. The minute your vision clears and you see yourself, deem yourself worthy and start aligning your decisions with those beliefs, you are filling that void.
Here’s the kicker - For you to discover what these subconscious beliefs are that are seeking validation, you have to go into the emotion. Every time you feel an emotional trigger it is an opportunity to learn what story is living in there. There are 5 wounds of the soul and most of us carry 3-4. Humiliation, Rejection, Injustice, Betrayal, and abandonment. All of our stories living in the emotions are attached to one of those wounds, and those stories create patterns of behavior and all our decisions. This is what is keeping you in an emotional prison, and the only way to free yourself is to give yourself all the love you are seeking.
That love looks like sitting with the emotion. Feeling it. Asking what story is in there. Nurture that little boy or girl who felt all those emotions the moment that experience happened, and reparent that version of you. Validate those feelings, acknowledge them and hold them. This is the love you are seeking. It’s in you. When you do this, you begin to make space for a new story. You are alchemizing the pain and creating more capacity for a new direction to feel safe.
If you want to learn how to do this work and free yourself I am holding an upcoming group container sharing my signature program called Connecting Within, where you will learn all the tools, a retreat immersion in Bacalar, MX to dive into yourself and the elements with a sacred medicine ceremony, and then an integration program called The Alignment Blueprint that will teach you how to integrate the tools and align with your true self.
I use this framework daily to study myself, activate all my dormant codes, and align more deeply with the real me. I do these practices daily, and the tools are embedded in my system of operation—they can be in yours, too. This is shadow work, my friends. The emotions reveal the subconscious stories living in the body. These are your shadows.
Join me. We begin in March, and the retreat is in April. If you are interested, sign up below. You will then receive an invitation to fill out an application and set up a call with me. I want to make sure this is the right fit for you.
With all my love,
Amalia
IG: @heartbyamalia
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